When Learning to Love Yourself is Easier said than done.
A look at where I am now! I am still working on learning to love myself and, I have to say it is easier said than done. I force myself to achieve peace within me, and most of the time, I feel I am failing at attaining this peace I so desire. However, every day I get out of bed, read my bible, pray, and thank God for the new day that he has given me. I know in my heart that living in the past is unhealthy and only prevents me from fulfilling my calling. Knowing that living in the past is unhealthy motivates me to push forward with my daily activities which include; work, church, school, and home. I don’t always do my best or work to my full potential however, I keep going because giving up is not an option. My desire is to one day not feel the effect of my past childhood abuse.
Somedays, the sky is so blue, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, and I am feeling absolutely fabulous about life, and my heart and ears are open to give and receive positivity and love.
Other days I wake up, and I know this will be a day of pain, not physical pain, but emotional and psychological pain. I truly understand that my purpose in life is much greater than my past pain. And that I should not allow that past to stand in the way of what God wishes to accomplish through me. I often feel that the devil is always sitting back watching and waiting to see individuals who have been through hard times fail. But I tell you this, with God I can withstand anything and prevail, not fail.
Feasting on scriptures like Psalm 18 verse 28 “You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.” Verse 29 goes on the say, “With your help, I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale wall.”
With my God, I know I can overcome anything as long as I do not give up. I believe that focusing on the purpose of my life has allowed me to keep pushing forward instead of remaining stuck in the past where I will lack the ability to accomplish anything good for myself, my family, my community, or the kingdom of God.