When it comes to the healing process that will allow individuals to heal and attain the feeling of peace with oneself and within society, it will take tremendous courage to stand up and fight for that peace that is so desired in the heart of abused individuals. It took a lot of years of prayers, hard work, and the unwillingness to give up fighting for my personal peace, but after finding the courage to stand, I realized that my biggest fight was ahead of me. Desiring changes that will bring about the physical and psychological healing took planning, order, and daily commitments to complete the steps that will allow me to achieve balance in my daily life.
The steps that helped me achieve balance in my life are;
- Speaking up: I remember being very young, not sure what age I was when I told an adult (woman) in my church that I was being sexually abused. She said I was not telling the truth, and continued by saying that the family I was living with is good Christian people, who opened their home to an orphan girl, and I should not lie on these good people. This response silenced me for years, leaving me to live a life that felt like I was decaying from the inside out. I lived in silence for many years, and it was not until around the age of 27 that I realize keeping all this pain bottled up inside of me is going to be my death, which meant permanent silence for my entire lifetime. I wanted to have a voice, so I mustered up the courage to speak up, about my abuse in hope of free myself from years of silences and pain, in addition, to helping others who have suffered the same faith as I have, and looking for change, a renewed self-worth, positive outlook on life, ways to overcoming the fear of abuse.
- Understanding the Emotions: I have to say my emotions consume a great deal of my wellbeing, somedays I am feeling wonderful, while other days I struggle to find peace within myself, that feeling of being a helpless child has a way of trying to creep up to steal my joy in the hope of crippling the progress. I often have to remind myself that I am no longer a helpless child, but instead an adult, strong, secure and a child of God. Allowing myself to be angry about my abuse, and cry for the lost child within me, this has helped healed by allowing me to express these emotions.
- Unpacking: In order to begin the healing process, I made journaling a part of my daily activity, this helped unpack the fear, pain, and shame that I have been living with for years. In addition, unpacking free up space in my mind, help me better organize my thought for more positive thinking, and planning for my daily living activities in addition to my future. Implementing professional and ministerial counseling as part of my planning has had a tremendous positive impact on my healing and life progress.
- Planning: My way of planning is by starting each and every day with reading God’s word, journaling, and prayer, this helps to keep my head clear and my heart and mind centered on the Lord, who is my healer. I make a list of everything that I would like to complete for each day, week, month, or year. Making lists helps me to stay focus, on the task ahead, leaving me with less time to relapse into that helpless little girl, not a place that I want to keep going back to now that I see myself as a survivor and no longer a victim.
- Enjoy life: I had to learn to live life with love, enjoying every moment that comes my way, not letting the pass predict or control my future by stealing the good things that the Lord has allowed to complete in life. I enjoy the simple things in life like; cooking, baking, sewing, gardening in the summertime, and spending quality time with friends and family.
Disclaimer: I fully understand that the steps I implemented in my healing process might not work for everyone who has to suffer some form of abuse, each individual or case might need its own unique steps that will be appropriate to the individual condition and life challenges.
Help and Resources,
National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800) 4-A-Child or (1-800) 422-4458 or visit the website at https://www.childhelp.org
National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-Hope or 1-800-656-4673 or visit website at https://www.rainn.org