The impact of childhood abuse on survivors socioeconomic status

The impact of childhood abuse on adult survivors can have a negative effect on the adult’s ability to navigate effectively through adult life. Survivors can face a vast verity of stumbling blocks that will limit their ability to develop effectively into adulthood; these stumbling blocks include health problems like depression, fear, anxiety, palpitations, crying, compulsive behaviors, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), suicidal thoughts or suicidal actions.

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These debilitating stumbling blocks also have a profound impact on survivor’s socioeconomic status; their ability to obtain well-paying employment might be limited because of mental or physical problems resulting from their past abuse. Mental and physical problems might limit the Survivor’s ability to interact with others, complete basic tasks in a timely manner, or effectively communicate in a professional setting, in addition, poor concentration, limited education including vocational training might be factors that limits Survivor’s ability to obtain and maintain adequate employment.

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A study by Dr. David S. Zielinski points out that childhood abuse negatively effects the individual throughout their lifetime; at every level from development to education also “20 percent of unemployed adults” suffer some kind of childhood abuse including neglect. He goes on to point out that intervention which includes “physical and mental health care and educational support” can positively improve the Survivor’s socioeconomic status that will improve the Survivor’s well-being.

Love always



Reference Long-term Socioeconomic Impact of Child Abuse and Neglect: Implications for Policy by David S. Zielinski, Ph.D.

Abuse Survivors on the Job: Signs, Symptoms, and How to Help It’s not as uncommon as you might think

5 Steps to Jumpstart the Healing Process of Past Abuse

When it comes to the healing process that will allow individuals to heal and attain the feeling of peace with oneself and within society, it will take tremendous courage to stand up and fight for that peace that is so desired in the heart of abused individuals.  It took a lot of years of prayers, hard work, and the unwillingness to give up fighting for my personal peace, but after finding the courage to stand, I realized that my biggest fight was ahead of me. Desiring changes that will bring about the physical and psychological healing took planning, order, and daily commitments to complete the steps that will allow me to achieve balance in my daily life.

The steps that helped me achieve balance in my life are;

  1. Speaking up: I remember being very young, not sure what age I was when I told an adult (woman) in my church that I was being sexually abused. She said I was not telling the truth, and continued by saying that the family I was living with is good Christian people, who opened their home to an orphan girl, and I should not lie on these good people. This response silenced me for years, leaving me to live a life that felt like I was decaying from the inside out. I lived in silence for many years, and it was not until around the age of 27 that I realize keeping all this pain bottled up inside of me is going to be my death, which meant permanent silence for my entire lifetime. I wanted to have a voice, so I mustered up the courage to speak up, about my abuse in hope of free myself from years of silences and pain, in addition, to helping others who have suffered the same faith as I have, and looking for change, a renewed self-worth, positive outlook on life, ways to overcoming the fear of abuse.
  2. Understanding the Emotions: I have to say my emotions consume a great deal of my wellbeing, somedays I am feeling wonderful, while other days I struggle to find peace within myself, that feeling of being a helpless child has a way of trying to creep up to steal my joy in the hope of crippling the progress. I often have to remind myself that I am no longer a helpless child, but instead an adult, strong, secure and a child of God. Allowing myself to be angry about my abuse, and cry for the lost child within me, this has helped healed by allowing me to express these emotions.
  3. Unpacking: In order to begin the healing process, I made journaling a part of my daily activity, this helped unpack the fear, pain, and shame that I have been living with for years. In addition, unpacking free up space in my mind, help me better organize my thought for more positive thinking, and planning for my daily living activities in addition to my future.  Implementing professional and ministerial counseling as part of my planning has had a tremendous positive impact on my healing and life progress.
  4. Planning: My way of planning is by starting each and every day with reading God’s word, journaling, and prayer, this helps to keep my head clear and my heart and mind centered on the Lord, who is my healer.  I make a list of everything that I would like to complete for each day, week, month, or year.  Making lists helps me to stay focus, on the task ahead, leaving me with less time to relapse into that helpless little girl, not a place that I want to keep going back to now that I see myself as a survivor and no longer a victim.
  5. Enjoy life: I had to learn to live life with love, enjoying every moment that comes my way, not letting the pass predict or control my future by stealing the good things that the Lord has allowed to complete in life.  I enjoy the simple things in life like; cooking, baking, sewing, gardening in the summertime, and spending quality time with friends and family.

Disclaimer:  I fully understand that the steps I implemented in my healing process might not work for everyone who has to suffer some form of abuse, each individual or case might need its own unique steps that will be appropriate to the individual condition and life challenges.

Love always,


Help and Resources,

National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800) 4-A-Child or (1-800) 422-4458 or visit the website at

National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-Hope or 1-800-656-4673 or visit website at

My Childhood Abuse and its Legacy

My Childhood Abuse and its Legacy

As I reflect on my life I cannot help wondering what my life would have been without the love, guidance, and protection of the Lord.  I am often perplexed by the endurance abilities that are embedded in the mind, heart, and body of individuals who are living with the legacy of childhood abuse. When I speak of legacy I am not talking about the family inheritance of gifts or money, I am talking about the legacies that are gain because of abuse, from verbal to sexual.

When I am asked, how I would describe myself? I often replied resilient without having to ponder the question, I truly believed that my resilience is one of the positive legacies that  I had developed to help me cope with the negative legacies that result from my childhood abuse, these negative legacies include isolation, self-doubt, feelings of worthlessness, and feeling unwanted within my family and the society.  One of the reasons that many survivors of childhood abuse keep going every day despite the negative feelings that we are facing each and every day is due to our resilience’s refusing to give up.

I think it is hard to explain the kind of legacies that are woven into every little part of a survivor’s existence because every survivor has different ways of coping with their legacies.  I have struggled with my negative legacies all my life, there have been times that I felt crippled by the weight of my psychological pain, but somehow manage to hold on to the promises of God.  The book of James 1:12 read “blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”  These promises strengthen my survival abilities by giving me tools to help me in building positive legacies, which I now use to shape and guide my everyday life.

Love always,


Putting Down The Pain To Gain The Future

Putting down the pain caused by abuse

          As I entered into this New Year, my mind was engulfed with new exciting possibilities. I am always looking forward to every New Year because I view each New Year as new beginnings. Also, I view a New Year as another year for God to use me for his Kingdom. I don’t always accomplish all the things that I set out to accomplish each year. However, I try to make a go of most of the goals that I set for myself. The problem with the way I have done things in the past is that most of the time these goals were self-driven. To be self-driven is good, it allows me to accomplish my daily task with ease; however, this does not leave much flexibility for what the Lord wishes to accomplish in me or through me. This is why I will be doing things a little different this year and leaving much room for the Lord to use me in whatever ways that are pleasing to him.

How am I going to do this? Well!!!

            First I will start the New Year fasting, praying, and seeking the Lord. Focusing on what his will is for me in this New Year, and how can I assure that I fully understand the complexity of what he wishes to accomplish in me or through me. Pray that the Lord will remove any stumbling block that stands in my way. For me, one big stumble block is; holding on to things that have happened to me in the past. This stumbling block has been standing in my way for many years, prevented me from gaining a better life. It like a curtain that is blocking the sun from reaching a plant that is placed by a window. The plant may grow and flower, but because of the inadequate amount of sun the plant will not grow or flower as well as other plants that are receiving an adequate amount of sun.  Some days I feel like that plant, sitting by the window not getting the sun I need to grow and flourish.

This year I will pull back the curtain, allowing the sunlight in, so that I may have a more healthy growth in my personal life and most of all in Christ Jesus. The apostle Peter teaches that as Christian we should “stand strong in our faith.”  He also said to “humble yourselves (ourselves), therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you (me) up in due time” 1 Peter 5:6. In addition to humbling ourselves and “cast all your (my) anxiety on him because he cares for you (me)” 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV). As I move forward into this New Year I will “cast all my anxiety” at the foot of the cross, because my father in heaven “cares for me” and for you.

Be Bless in this New Year!


Looking Back

Looking Back At My Life

When I look back at my life and see how far I have come, it makes me feel extremely blessed to see the progress that has taken place in my life. I come to realize that when life leaves me broken, I don’t always stop and take the time to thank the Lord for holding me close and never letting me go. Many times I feel that I am disappointing the Lord by allowing my past to control my future. I often ask myself these questions.

  • What have I accomplished for the Kingdom of God?
  • Am I just going around in circles?
  • Am I living up to my full potentials?
  • What is my true purpose?
  • Have I missed the signs?
  • Have I missed interrupt the life lessons I needed to learn from my past?
  • And how can I ashore that I am progressing towards the ultimate goal?

For me the saddest thing would be, missing my purpose because I have been holding onto my past pain. If I am not careful, I can become consumed with my past carrying it around like a backpack that is full of rocks. The only thing holding on to my past does for me, is slow me down, steal my joy, and prevents me from fulfilling my purpose. To me this would be a major defeat to my life, like being alive but not living, just existing without a purpose.

I will say this, I know my true calling is not to sit and wallow in my past. Besides; I know there is a lesson to learn, and the sooner I learn, the faster I can fulfill my purpose in the Kingdom of God.

As this year-end, I will say the Lord has been very good to me.  From time to time when I am face to face with problems, an overwhelming fear of the unknown emanates me, followed by panic. And just when I think the bottom of my life is going to fall out the Lord whisper in his still soft voice.  He used verses like Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” When I read this scripture I marvel at how our heavenly Father can penetrate any darkness to bring comfort in the nick of time. How awesome! Let us never forget to pray and give thanks for all that our father has accomplished in us. And most of all, that which still needs to be accomplished through us.


When learning to love yourself is easier said than done.

When Learning to Love Yourself is Easier said than done.

Photo by Tim Mossholder from Pixels

A look at where I am now! I am still working on learning to love myself and, I have to say it is easier said than done. I force myself to achieve peace within me, and most of the time, I feel I am failing at attaining this peace I so desire. However, every day I get out of bed, read my bible, pray, and thank God for the new day that he has given me. I know in my heart that living in the past is unhealthy and only prevents me from fulfilling my calling. Knowing that living in the past is unhealthy motivates me to push forward with my daily activities which include; work, church, school, and home. I don’t always do my best or work to my full potential however, I keep going because giving up is not an option. My desire is to one day not feel the effect of my past childhood abuse.

Photo by Andre Furtado form Pexels

Somedays, the sky is so blue, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, and I am feeling absolutely fabulous about life, and my heart and ears are open to give and receive positivity and love.  

Photo by Ahha Faraweba from Pexels

        Other days I wake up, and I know this will be a day of pain, not physical pain, but emotional and psychological pain. I truly understand that my purpose in life is much greater than my past pain. And that I should not allow that past to stand in the way of what God wishes to accomplish through me. I often feel that the devil is always sitting back watching and waiting to see individuals who have been through hard times fail. But I tell you this, with God I can withstand anything and prevail, not fail.

Feasting on scriptures like Psalm 18 verse 28 “You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.” Verse 29 goes on the say, “With your help, I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale wall.”
With my God, I know I can overcome anything as long as I do not give up. I believe that focusing on the purpose of my life has allowed me to keep pushing forward instead of remaining stuck in the past where I will lack the ability to accomplish anything good for myself, my family, my community, or the kingdom of God.


In Search of my Wings

Self-Love and Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse

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Self-love “the instinct by which one’s actions are directed to the promotion of one’s own welfare or well-being, especially an excessive regard for one’s own advantage” ( Self-love should be front and center in the life of every individual from a very young age and throughout their entire life: however, when it comes to adult survivors of childhood abuse achieving self-love can be a long uphill battle infused with depression, loneliness, fatigue, lack of energy, or the motivation needed to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Sometimes I wonder what personal views individuals who grow-up in loving homes have about themselves or their feelings about navigating the roads of life.  I often wonder how hard I will have to work; to remove the negative effect that verbal, sexual, physical, and emotional abuse had on my life. The idea of ‘just get over it’ is easy to say however accomplishing, an instant level of healing and restoration can only come from God pouring out his loving kindness upon my life or the life of others living with the negative effect of past childhood abuse.

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Waking up daily with a mindset of gratitude have allowed me to keep climbing that hill one step at a time because I feel blessed to be a survivor, every day that I wake up, to be able to walk, run, or feel the sunshine on my face is a good day, a blessed day.  I feel that self-love; is vital to the healing process of past abuse; without self-love personal, desires will seem like a dream or a fancy that keeps playing in your head none stop.  I have lived periods of my life without self-love; the feeling of worthlessness, confusion, pain, and shame consumed every aspect of my life, including choices that have had a positive and negative outcome.  

Additionally, the positive outcome that I have had in my life during these periods, I know and truly understand, is a complete intervention from the Lord.  I will have to say this: self-love is critical when it comes to making a personal or professional decision that will have a positive outcome, not just for (you) or me but also for our families and communities.

My Tips to Achieving Self-love

I allow myself to feel my emotions be uncomfortable in order to free myself from that inner suffering.

I read my bible daily and other books with positive and uplifting messages; I also pray throughout the day, which keeps my mind focus on positive thoughts.

I see the beauty in the little things, like watching birds at the feeder from the kitchen window or looking at the different shades of roses on my rose bushes.

I don’t sweat the small stuff; I pick my battles because somethings aren’t worth the hassle.

Being optimistic about my future at all times has allowed me to grow and engaged with others because I love to share my hobbies with others. They are cooking, baking, sewing, gardening, and bird watching.

Disclaimer:  I fully understand that my tips to achieving self-love might not work for everyone who has suffered some form of abuse. Each individual or case might need its own unique steps that might be more appropriate to the individual condition and life challenges.

Love always,


Hope for the Hopeless